i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize