You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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