idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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