i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better