I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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