I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
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He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
my poor anus
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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