So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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