He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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