We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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