Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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