i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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