I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize