I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize