i think my tv is drunk
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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