Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
as a side note pls kill me
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
