Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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