does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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