Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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