Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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