I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
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I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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