it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
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When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
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He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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