then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
