so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
