I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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