I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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