Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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