Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
