Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
