My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
