the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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