I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
