What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
