My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize