She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
