mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
