Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm like, not good at living.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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