I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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