thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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