Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
