Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
