nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
