Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
