did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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