I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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