i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
