RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I wear drunk well.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
