Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
