did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
