I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
