You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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