She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
