How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
