haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I could have mohawked her pubes.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
