I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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