I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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